Flowermate V5.0 Pro by Smiss
What we liked: Adjustable temperature control, costs less than $100
I’ve been invited to my friend’s house to watch Game of Thrones and I am nervous. Lately, instead of looking forward to Sunday nights, it seems more like I endure them. We Game of Thrones fans have had to sit through a lot of boring stuff and a lot of pointless torture passed off as plot device during these past five seasons. I’ve started to wonder how much more I can take. Bert got a new flower vaporizer, though, the Flowermate V5.0 Pro, and he wants to share (the misery). It actually made for a suitable match. As with Game of Thrones, if you’re willing to endure a lot of sucking, the Flowermate will eventually entertain you.
Available online from a variety of retailers for under $100, the Flowermate V5.0 Pro is a less expensive alternative to the ubiquitous Pax, but it’s also a lot bigger. While the Pax feels like a tiny relay baton, the Flowermate is more like a first generation iPod, a smooth metal brick. It’s not nearly as portable as some other vaporizers on the market, and if you’re taking it out on the town you might find it fits more comfortably in a bag rather than your pants pocket. A glass mouthpiece unscrews from the top and can be tucked away in a compartment on the bottom, which keeps the thing you put in your mouth relatively clean, regardless of how you choose to move it around.
What it lacks in sleekness, however, it makes up for in control. Unlike the Pax, The Flowermate V5.0 Pro features a simple LCD display that keeps track of the battery life as well as the set and actual temperatures. It has a range of 104°F to 446°F and a ceramic compartment that holds up to ½ gram of ground up flower. Bert loads two different strains; we heat them to two different temperatures, and each time we get a slightly different taste as we move closer to full combustion.
Just like the fantasy epic, the Flowermate starts out strong. For the first round we set the temperature to 380°F and it was ready in about 10 seconds. We reach 405° for round two just as fast. While it might not be the easiest thing in terms of size to take on the go, the fact that it easily reaches the desired temperature is a major bonus if you’re trying to vaporize discreetly in public.
And just like with Game of Thrones, after the initial warm-up, things take a long time to pay off. The draw is pretty slow and tight, and you’ll need to pull for around 15 seconds to get a solid hit, which again makes it difficult for taking out of the house. You really have to settle in with the Flowermate, trust that it’s working, and maintain a slow inhale. Bert, in the same manner as the book reader who promised me dragons, assures me that it’s worth the time it takes to get to the end. Without him I might have given up, assumed that something should have happened already, and moved on to something else.
The Flowermate V5.0 Pro delivers eventually though. The adjustable temperature setting provides more precision than what you typically find in this price range – it’s more precision than you get from the new Pax, which cost three times as much – and makes a big difference when you’re vaporizing flowers. Even in places like Colorado and Washington, where you can expect some amount of regulatory oversight in regards to the bud you buy, the consistency varies not just from shop to shop, but from batch to batch and day to day. The Skywalker OG you bought perfectly cured yesterday from your favorite dispensary might be a little dry when you go back for more tomorrow. You can adjust the Flowermate Pro not just for personal preference but to suit the quality and characteristics of the strain as well.
It’s a little unwieldy, and it takes patience to get to the end, but if you’ve got the time a Flowermate V5.0 Pro might be worth all the suck.